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Hi.

Welcome my blog. This is my space where I focus on being a working mother, my families stories, and write about my curated life.

A Letter

A Letter

Dear Ender,

It is almost time, my littlest love, for your story to change. It is almost time for you to take on a new role in life. It is not one that you have asked for, nor is it one that you will understand for a while, but you will start it nonetheless. I remember the beginning of our story together, as a family of three from when it started on your birthday. You did not want to make your grand entrance into the world without taking your time. Just as you are now, you prefer to do some things fast and other things - like meeting new people - at your own pace. Once you were born we learned to adjust to one another. I learned not to be afraid of taking care of you, I learned that the sadness of you depending on me would dissipate and that the hope that I would get better at feeding and taking care of you would come to fruition. Even though I went through my time of sadness, I never once regretted your existence. Your little heart was beating inside of me for longer than the fear and sadness I felt once you were born.

You made me a mother, even though I thought I had practiced with two dogs - boy was I wrong. You, Ender, made me also feel weak and strong at the same time, for the first time. I was weak thinking that I could take on this role without help from others or think that everything about you wouldn't consume me. I was strong in those same moments because I knew that I could get through the difficulty of first-time motherhood and I was strong enough to know that thinking about you would be the best parts of my days.

Having a sibling will not be easy on your dad or me, or on you little Ender bug. We will transition and grow - the three of us together. Once we introduce this new baby into our hearts and home things will be changed forever. I hope that you will understand that we are not having another baby because we do not feel you are enough. On the contrary, you are more than we ever expected out of this life, and we wanted to bring more of that into our hearts. You will always be my baby, forever and always.

This sibling, my baby boy, is our friend to you, our gift to you, another extension of our hearts to help you learn more about yours. We have hope that your relationship with your brother will be as solid and meaningful as a best friend - even more so because you will be related by blood. The core of your being, your DNA, will be shared with your sibling, that is one of the deepest bonds that there could be.

As we come up on these last days of just the three of us - your daddy, you and me - let's make sure that we get as many snuggles, giggles, and belly laughs in as we can. Your little heart is so sweet and I can't imagine how much you are going to grow and change in these next few weeks. I look forward to seeing how you adapt to this new life that we are bringing your way. First there were three, and now there will be four. Your heart will always be part of me, Ender, and you will always be my most prized possession.

I love you Ender. Welcome to the older sibling club.

A Birth Story

A Birth Story

Makeup

Makeup